So I’ve been really mean to myself recently. I feel like I am constantly yelling at myself to work out, lose weight, whiten my teeth, etc. I’ve been pretty open about my acne journey and although that’s coming to a close… I recently developed a mild form of dermatitis under my eyes (that can’t be covered up by makeup). One after the other, I’ve been mentally punching myself and angry that I don’t look better or feel better. I have felt this way for a while but I would just push it to the back of my mind. Now that I have engagement pictures in a month and I’m getting married in 7… I have entered full-on freaked mode. So now I’m gonna sit here with all of you and pause, because it’s about time I started feelin’ myself, and the same goes for you.
A couple of nights ago, Jon and I went out on a date and I wore a new outfit. Overalls and a new shirt I had just bought earlier that week (yes, the picture above). I felt so confident and I couldn’t really figure out what it was. Sure, it’s a cute outfit… but it’s got to be beyond that. And then all of a sudden it hit me. I was grateful. Before I had left the house, I had looked in the mirror and thought “Wow, my skin looks great today. Thank You, God, for helping me work through that 5-year battle with my skin.” Yeah… I know it sounds really dumb. But my skin issues were more than just pimples. They were harsh, painful, and unforgiving. And they were without a doubt a sign of the way I felt on the inside.
In fact… everything about the way you feel on the outside tends to match the way you feel on the inside. I was putting myself through the wringer of toxic stress the entire time I had acne (I literally lost a tooth implant thanks to stress grinding). I had gained weight because of my insecure feelings. This is full circle, people. If you don’t feel you’re worth it, not only will you feel worse about yourself, but your insecurity will shine through in the way you speak, the way you walk, and yes, even the way you look.
Every single person on this planet can find something to be insecure about- whether it’s physical or not. You may think you’re too short, not smart enough, not “holy” enough, etc. But pause. I know you know this but I’m gonna tell you again… you are perfectly and wonderfully made. There is not another person even remotely like you and that was on purpose. God looked at you and said, “I don’t want anyone else to be like her/him, they are perfect in my eyes.” God designed your figure, your heart, and your mind and decided it was good and beautiful and wonderful.
It’s easy to forget something like this… I know. It’s easier to pick at the new dimple that’s formed on your thigh rather than saying “I am beautiful.” The world out there is Photoshopped and posed to perfection. But even those women and men feel insecurities. Shoot, if I saw a Photoshopped version of myself I’d probably find a million more things to be insecure about. Stand your ground. The Lord made you exactly the way you are and you are beautiful and glowing inside and out. No matter what small thing you’ve got going on that you feel is ruling your world… shake it off. You were uniquely crafted and designed and no one can be a better you.